Falling off the Balance Beam

I don't feel like I have been accomplishing much lately. I haven't painted in a couple of months, and I struggle finishing a chapter in my novel or my desert book edits. I have itty bitty bits of time. I shouldn't complain, lots of people have it much worse, but here I am complaining. I would love 24 hours where I didn't have to talk to anyone or answer any questions. One whole day where I didn't have to clean up cat-puke, make dinner, or step around a maze of things randomly left on the floor.

I would also love some great news! I'll just leave that statement floating.

I have pretty much concluded that to make it as a writer is about as likely as winning a grand prize at a raffle where one million people have bought tickets. I'm not going to give up writing my stories and my books about endangered species, those are burning inside me and have to get out. I guess I must simply change my expectations.

Therefore, I am actively applying for work. Funny, we moved near a larger city and I am such a small fish here that I don't have any prospects. The competition is so great that it is almost as difficult to get hired here as it is to get published.

There is also the happiness factor. The dream of doing what I love for a living must be put to the side. I think that's the hardest part to swallow. But, swallow, I must - as Yoda would say.

Folsom Zoo Event

Well, the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down last Saturday. I hung out at the Folsom Zoo and Sanctuary for a couple of hours. A few brave souls wrapped their kids up in gear and walked around waiting to see if the animals would rip into their holiday boxes. I planted myself near the front of the zoo and didn't see if the animals were successful.

I huddled under the gift shop porch, trying to promote my painting raffle to the small crowd passing through. I spoke with as many people as I could and had a great time with animal enthusiasts. The staff and volunteers at the Folsom Zoo are wonderful. Even with the dreary weather, the staff had an energy only animals could inspire.

A zookeeper, named Shawn, gave me the greatest Christmas gift after the visitors left the zoo, a behind the scenes peek at the animals. I got up close and personal with the tigers, bears and mountain lions. Of course, I didn't touch, I just gawked. They are truly magnificent and humbling creatures. I could spend hours just watching and talking to them. Shawn shared wonderful stories of each one and described how much the sanctuary has grown and improved the lives of the beloved creatures existing there over the years.

They lost one of their wolf hybrids, Rex, only a day before the event. I felt so sad to hear about it. The staff was mourning the loss. Shawn told me that each animal has their own history and issues at the Folsom Zoo and their staff recognizes their individuality, and differences in personality. Some are three legged; others have skin issues; some have broken wings; others have been tamed and can't return to the wild. Each animal is worth saving and their staff do their absolute best to create a comfortable and loving environment. The animals remind people of how important it is to have diversity in the world, whether it is furry, feathered, scaly or --- well, human.

I'll be returning to the zoo for the next few weekends to promote the painting raffle until January 12th. If anyone wants to buy a raffle ticket let me know and I'll set it up on paypal.com. Every cent from the raffle will go back to the Folsom Zoo and Sanctuary.

SCBWI Exhibit - Off the Pages & Zoo Event

I must be brief, like that happens often for me! Ha! Crap it is 10 p.m., how did that happen?

Six of my paintings from my book are in the MAIYA Gallery in Sacramento, CA. The official opening will be celebrated this coming weekend, Dec. 12th at Second Saturday Artwalk. Last week on Dec. 3rd a holiday party for the SCBWI Northern CA group was held at the gallery. I had a blast and then lost my voice. So worth it!

My friend Mitty, from one of the critique groups I am in commented about the splendid affair on her blog. There are several other SCBWI Illustrators in the gallery for the exhibit.

Another spectacular event on Dec. 12th is the Animal Gift Opening at the Folsom Zoo Sanctuary. I am going to be doing a fundraiser for them:
- Dec. 12th
- 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.

I am going to raffle off the original Wolf painting from my children's book, "Through Endangered Eyes - a poetic journey into the wild." Raffle tickets will be sold for $5.00 each. The zoo will draw a name and contact the winner of the painting. I will be donating 100% of the raffle money back to the Folsom Zoo. I will also be available to sign my book:)

The event is a blast! The animals have their meals wrapped in boxes and they tear the boxes open for their food. They get so excited to use their natural instincts.

I went to the Folsom Zoo today to drop off some cards and prints to the gift shop and did my usual lap of the place. The tiger crouched down when I approached her enclosure and she wiggled her butt. I ducked down and hid behind a pole and then she jumped out at me with a peeeeswa! It was very cute. It's the second time she has tracked me as prey.

Update on projects

I am almost done with the factual text for "Through Desert Eyes." I am going to try to finish it up over next week's break.

I have a renewed fire for my young adult novel. I have re-written chapters one and two, with a lot of confidence. I am thinking of changing the title to "Peridot Cage," since the color of a Peridot stone matches my protagonists' eyes. I am thinking of submitting the first three chapters again to agents, maybe by the end of December. I really want to polish them first and the critique groups I am in give invaluable comments and suggestions.

I am considering writing a middle grade or young reader book on a series of horse stories, based off my own history.

I have picked up some graphic design accounts and will be working on those projects. It's great, but will slow my writing process down a bit.

My guess is that my funny book about missing socks won't get picked up, based on the rejections I've received, but that is okay. It was a great exercise, so I don't feel bad about it.

Special Photo in Africa

My book was among a group of books purchased by someone in Flagstaff, AZ. They were taken to the Arizona School at Kilanya Parish in Tanzania. The library has many books connected to Arizona.

The photo was sent by:
Doug Handlong
Pastor
Trinity Heights UMC
Flagstaff, AZ

See my book at the bottom of the pile? How wonderful!

Events of the weekend

The event at the Roseville Borders was a lot of fun. The staff there was so nice and the people I met were interesting. I love doing these events and meeting people.

One woman stopped me, after buying my book, and told me how moved she was by my words. She told me she didn't know why she felt like crying, but was grateful for the feeling and the connection. She then asked for a hug, as her little boy watched. It was such a sweet moment.

On Sunday, I spent the afternoon at the Discovery Museum at Sacramento. This is my second event with them, and I hope to do many more. I brought paint and cards for kids to do dot paintings. Some kids got started and didn't want to leave after twenty minutes. Their parents shrugged, surprised at their enthusiasm. While the kids were painting, I talked about the endangered animals from the book. It was so fun! Next time I will bring some music though, it makes such a difference in the creative process.

Upcoming events are motivating

My ultimate dream, other than safety for endangered species, is to be able to afford to be home for my kids and write and paint. It appears to be a difficult thing to achieve.

Thus, having events that allow me to talk to kids about animals really pumps me up! This weekend I'll be at a book signing at a Borders in Roseville; and then an art/science event at the Discovery Museum of Sacramento. I really enjoy this part of being an author.

But, the looming deadline of getting a "real" job does seem inevitable. I know I can still create and write, after all I did "Through Endangered Eyes," while working full time and having two babies. Yet it is hard to imagine going back to an office and being away from my kids that much again.

Rejections do this to me. I assess, question and doubt my abilities as an artist. It isn't easy to achieve what J.K. Rowling & Stephanie Meyer have in children's literature. I know they both got rejections too, but it doesn't make me feel better knowing that.

On a happy note, I plan to send out my first draft of "Through Desert Eyes," at the end of this month.

I am submitting a short story to a magazine and contest.

I am submitting the first three chapters of my re-written young adult novel to an editor by Nov. 24th.

And my notebook is being filled with ideas for other story lines!

Just call me roller coaster.