Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Teaser Tuesday - a little late

I am going to give the Teaser Tuesday a try. This is from my contemporary/fantasy Young Adult novel - "The Lion Inside."

Renna Healy got on her hands and knees to reach the animal huddled under a bush. “Oh my gosh, it’s a lion cub,” she said picking it up and cradling it. “It doesn’t look very good. We need to find its mother.”

“You want us to search for a pride of lions?” asked Sean Taylor, Renna’s best friend.

“Yep. I bet they’re close. The cub’s too small to have wandered far. If we can’t find the lions, I promise we’ll go to the village and ask for help,” Renna said scanning the treeless savannah. Their Kenyan village looked hazy in the distance.

“That makes me feel so much better,” Sean rolled his eyes.

The dehydrated cub gazed at her and meowed. Renna held it closer to her body. “You’ll be okay,” she murmured to the baby.

“Fine, we’ll look, but if I’m eaten by a lion it’s entirely your fault,” Sean said pointing his finger at her, his English accent thickening with anger.

Renna smiled, shading her eyes as she squinted at his handsome face. She was two months away from fifteen, old enough to be crazy about a boy, but smart enough to hide it. Sean was a year older and she thought he was the greatest person she’d ever met. She didn’t want to ruin things by liking him. Plus, Renna had no idea how long it would be until she and her dad moved again, so she tried not to get too attached – although that wasn’t working very well.

“I can’t believe that after a year you’re still putting up with my crazy adventures,” Renna said. “You know, of all the countries I’ve lived in, Kenya is the most exciting.” She kept talking, trying to keep Sean’s mind off the fact that they were looking for, not running from, a pride of lions. “There are so many amazing things here. I’ve got a million images to paint. I think my dad even likes it. He was just saying--”

“Shhh. Did you hear that?” Sean turned towards an area of high golden grass and thorny bushes.

“Maybe the cub’s mother found us,” Renna said.

“This isn’t cool. We should be back at my Mum’s house starting history, not traipsing about the bush looking for something dangerous.” Sean said. Sweat dripped down his forehead as the noon sun beat down on them.

“Do you want to go back and tell her I’ll be late for our next subject? I don’t want you to get in trouble again because of me,” she said.

Sean’s mom, Georgia Taylor, was their home-school teacher. Renna had felt the wraith of Mrs. Taylor before and wanted to keep it from happening again. Every time Renna suggested they go exploring over their lunch hour, Mrs. Taylor would remind Renna that her boy was built for the city, not the country side. Renna on the other hand could make it work anywhere she lived.

“I’m not going to leave you alone, stupid,” he tugged her long, brown pony tail. “What am I going to do with you?” He peeked at the lion cub snuggled against her chest, and sighed.

12 comments:

Angelica R. Jackson said...

I can see the first-page revisions I'm bringing tomorrow have already been changed! I like this version better, it transitions more smoothly. Don't forget to post a link to your teaser on the YA blogroll forum, and you can also take advantage of the announcements section (your award) and the library section. Just read the stickies to see the guidelines for each forum. Also the newbie section (you can post an intro/short bio).

RAD - Dot Painter said...

Thanks that helps so much! I will make sure to follow up with your suggestions. I am still waiting for them to approve me.

Christina's Buzz said...

Love how this story begins, really shows Renna's soft side for animals and her feelings toward Sean. And you do a wonderful job establishing the setting. ;-))

LM Preston said...

I really enjoyed reading this. I got captured by her concern for the little cub and Sean's concern for mamma coming after them.

Glen Akin said...

Lol am I the only one hoping one of them gets eaten or at least bitten by a lion for picking up a lion curb and searching of its mother, rather than going to some adult for help?

Great teaser, still :D

Ellen said...

Oh dears. Hunting for lions, bad idea! But good tease, I'm worried about them now ;) And I sympathize -- baby lions are so adorable >.> Even if their moms can eat you...

Karla Calalang said...

Wow, that is a very bad idea... But seems exciting nonetheless :) Great teaser!

Karla Nellenbach said...

Im with Glen...lol I kind of want to see them strike out on their own and get into some trouble and NOT go to an adult for help:) nice snip though!

J.S. Wood said...

No way can I agree with the ones who want one of them eaten/bitten. This snip is so sweet and the friendship between these two sweeter. And lions, how much more cool can it get. Great voice!

RAD - Dot Painter said...

Thank you so much for everyone taking the time to read this! Hooray! I'll reciprocate the effort.

Debra Driza said...

Awww, babhy lion! Definitely a unique snip! I am wondering about how smart your MC is, lol, looking for a pride of lions though! I agree--go find some help! :D (it does show she's tender-hearted, though, which is nice--but perhaps a bit too reckless for her own good? :D

Bri said...

Heh, I love this: "She was two months away from fifteen, old enough to be crazy about a boy, but smart enough to hide it."

I love the relationship between the two of them! Nice tease :)