Wednesday, February 1, 2012


I've been looking through TV and movie listings in my Entertainment magazine, a guilty pleasure, and it has really helped me with my one-line-pitch. I've also been reading "Screenwriting Tricks for Authors," by Alexandra Sokoloff and she includes a list of what has to be in the log line to make it successful.

- What is the MC's problem and why is it worthy of an entire story?
- Who is the antagonist?
- What are the stakes? If your MC doesn't do something, why should we care? What is the danger?
- What is the setting or atmosphere?
- Give clues to the genre

Here is my one line pitch:

The Lion Within
YA Science Fiction
80,000 words

Sixteen-year-old Renna Healy was born a rager not part-lion, that happened by accident in Africa, and now she must train to defeat the lion that changed her in order to stop a virus from becoming an epidemic, but first she needs to learn to control the beast within her using the most challenging of places to train--high school.


Angelica R. Jackson said...

Wow, there is a lot going on in that one sentence! How about something like:

Sixteen-year-old Renna Healy already had anger issues, and when an enraged lion attacks and infects her with the mysterious virus it carries, her own rage becomes nearly uncontrollable--but she'll need to learn to master her emotions and new gifts if she's to stop the virus from becoming an epidemic.

I don't think the detail about high school is important in a pitch of this length; save that for the query or the synopsis. Hope the book is going well, and good luck!

RAD - Dot Painter said...

Thanks Angelica! Good suggestions! Hope your book is coming along too.

Christina Mercer said...

Log Lines are so challenging! The checklist is very helpful, and you included all the important elements of your awesome story.

I like Angelica's "tightening", though I also really like that you mention high school, as it sets the stage for me ;-)

Preschool Math Online said...

interesting story!