Sunday, May 6, 2012
I Just Don't Feel Like...
Truly I have felt like crawling in a hole for days and days. I don't want a party, in fact I'm getting my teeth cleaned this week that's how high partying is on my list. I've spent a little time wallowing, reflecting, and wondering if I'm in the right place at this monumental time in my life or not. I'm in a weird place.
I can't complain. I love my children and husband. I love staying home and being there for my kids. I love teaching after-school art. I love writing and painting in my spare time. So, why the funk? That I'm unclear about. I know that it's natural for people to feel down when they hit the near mid-point of their life. I guess I didn't think I would be one of those people feeling down. And yet here I am.
So, I do what I've done since I was a little girl, I write about how I feel. Writing has always been cathartic for me. If I had a worry or a problem, I wrote it in my journal. It was never meant to inspire anyone, it was just a way to get it out so it didn't suffocate me.
As with any stage in life, this feeling of being lost will go away. I'll get back on that horse, gosh I miss riding, and find my path. But not this week, this week I'll sit down in the middle of it and watch seven seasons of Gilmore Girls and wonder if Lorelei and Luke will ever get together. I'll look for my path next week, right Scarlet?