Rejection #2

Okay, rejection number two came in last night. Knife in heart, twist, ugh!

I still have four queries floating out there, and I am sure a lot more research to go. I am going to step away from submitting for a little bit and finish up my commissioned painting.

When I finished my YA I thought I might have a chance at a creative, stay-home career. I know I am supposed to believe that every 'no' takes me closer to a 'yes', but truthfully, there are only so many options out there.

A part of rejection is a momentary lapse of despair. I am in that moment now. The thought of working in an office again gags me. I really want to believe that there is a way to love what I do and earn a living at it.

I have seen people that love what they do and live by it, but more often, I see people just going to work, waiting until they can retire so they can do what they really love to do.

I am not sure at what point I look at my art and writing as a hobby and then find a job that pays the bills - again. Kids certainly have more expensive needs as they get older.

I will send requests of success out to the universe and see what happens. I have to believe that the path in front of me is the one I need to walk.