Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Teaser Tuesday - Accidently

Renna (14 yrs old) is home from the hospital after survivng the lion attack that gives her lion-like abilities. She is starting to discover her new abilities.

“Dad, should I be worried about anything?” She could see every wrinkle in his face increase.

Leaving the lights off, he sighed and sat back down in the chair next to her, He reached out and took her hand. “I think everything’s going to be fine. Your eyesight isn’t affected, so I think our analysis is accurate.”

He squeezed her hand. “Now, go to sleep, and continue to heal.”

“Night, Dad. I love you,” she said returning his gentle squeeze.

Her dad yelped, tearing his hand away.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Renna sat up, and turned on the light. She stared in horror at her dad’s hand which looked contorted. “Did I do that?”

“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth. He braced himself against the wall, holding his wrist upright, trying to breathe deeply.

“It was an accident. You didn’t mean to hurt me.” He tried to reassure her as he examined his hand and tried to move a finger. Renna saw fear in her father’s eyes as his face twisted in pain. He’s scared of me, she thought.

“It looks broken. You should go to the hospital,” she said.

He nodded.

“How is this possible? I don’t understand. How could I do that to you? Daddy, what’s happening to me?” Renna began to shake.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It doesn’t make sense. Your strength doesn’t make sense.” He hesitated for a moment. “Don’t worry, I’ll be home as soon as possible and we’ll figure this out.” He quickly left the room.

Moments later the engine of the truck roared and wheels skidded in gravel.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated between sobs.


Angelica R. Jackson said...

Some tense issues, and maybe break sections of it up more (Renna's thought is in the same paragraph as her dad's dialogue) but good setup with her discovering her abilities, and her dad's reaction.

Bee said...

Is she turning into a superhero?
This is wicked. Lion-like abilities is the shizz!

Bri said...

Really interesting way of introducing her powers! Nice work :)

Christina Mercer said...

I love how you convey her strength along with her vulnerability. Makes for great conflict!!