Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Teaser Tuesday - Renna's eyes

14 year old Renna, is in a small rural hospital in Africa after the lion attack. She is talking with her best friend, Sean, who was with her when she was attacked. Sean is 16 years old. Both Renna and Sean's fathers are doctors without borders.

This is the first time Sean and Renna have seen each other after the accident. Sean is crying.

“I’m a bloody mess,” Sean said laughing at himself, and then abruptly stopped. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

Renna's heart fluttered remembering the bright light of her dad’s flashlight. She looked around the room to see if her sight had changed at all, everything looked crystal clear. In fact, she couldn’t believe the details she could see of objects hidden in the dark.

Sean leaned closer, “Your eyes were brown, right?”

“Yes.” Renna looked puzzled. “Did you say-- were?”

“Your irises are like an icy lime color. I’ve never seen anything like them.” Sean said.

“Can you find a mirror or something? I want to look.”

Sean walked quietly out of the room. He returned a couple minutes later with a small cracked hand mirror.

Renna lifted the mirror and gasped. Her eyes sparkled a funky green color you’d find in a crayon box. Her dark long wavy hair, olive skin, and thick black eyelashes made the contrast in color that much greater.

She put down the mirror and looked at Sean. “They’re the same color as that lion’s.”

“You’re right, I should have remembered that. Can you see okay?” Sean said.

Renna nodded, distracted by concern. “There was something very wrong with that lion, like he had rabies or something.”

“Sean,” his father whispered from the hall. “We need to go, son. Say, goodnight.”

Sean rolled his eyes and squeezed her hand. “I’ll come back in the morning, if my mum will let me. Don’t worry about your eyes. If nothing is blurry I’m sure it’s not a problem.”

“I hope so. I just want to go home,” Renna said, and yawned. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. By the way, I think the cub is safe.”

“I had forgotten about the cub. How do you know it’s safe? Never mind, we’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Sean said.

Sean turned in the doorway, “Ren, I don’t blame you for anything. I’d follow you anywhere.”


Angelica R. Jackson said...

Pushed through revisions today, and my reward is to read other people's teasers! This is a good one, especially the last line, it sums up Sean's feelings so well.

RAD - Dot Painter said...

Sweet! I hope you bring some of your revisions on Thurs. Thanks for the comment:) I get my reading reward for Teasers on Thursday night!

Ellen said...

Aww, Sean is so sweet. And very mysterious about her eyes, interesting :)

LM Preston said...

This was a great place to start a teaser. Loved the dialogue. Thanks for sharing, I can't wait to read more.

Remilda Graystone said...

I liked the dialogue and the story intrigues me. I want to know why she doesn't have the same eyes she started with, and what happened with the lion attack. This was a good tease!

Karla Calalang said...

I really liked this! It's so interesting about her eyes! I can't wait to read more! :)