"The Lion Inside"
Young Adult Contemporary/Fantasy
Continuation from last week... Teenagers Renna and Sean, find a lion cub and decide to return it to the pride. They are living in Africa. I took into consideration the comments some people made last week about how dangerous this quest was, and shifted some of the dialouge to get the reader to agree more with Renna's decision to help the cub.
A series of loud crunches stopped them in their tracks.
Sean put his arm protectively across Renna’s slight frame. The grass shifted in one section and then another.
A moment later, a small antelope leaped out from behind the brush. Renna and Sean jumped back to avoid getting hit by the leggy animal.
“Wow, that got my heart pumping,” Renna said. She looked at him sheepishly and then frowned. “Wait…don’t antelope move in herds?”
As if on cue, fifty antelope dove through the foliage.
Sean got pushed sideways and Renna was knocked face down in the dirt by the shoulder of a large buck. She used her body as a shield to protect the cub. She tried to get to her feet, but was knocked down again. Sean stood over her yelling and waving his arms frantically. The antelope moved like water around a rock, avoiding the tall boy.
“Are you okay?” Sean shouted over the drumming beat of hooves. He reached down and helped her off the ground. She nodded and stood behind him watching the backend of the last antelope disappear into a cloud of dust.
“Wow, that was something,” Renna coughed checking to make sure the cub was unharmed. “I wonder what set them off.” She began to pat the dirt from her pants, when she heard a low growl.
Sean was silent.
Renna peered around him and spotted an enormous male lion with an antelope hanging from his mouth. The beast stared at them with unnatural lime-green eyes, and then dropped his prey. His lips curled up, exposing his canines. Sean slowly walked backwards pushing Renna away from the predator.
“There’s nowhere to hide,” she said under her breath.
The lion hissed. His huge body quivered, vibrating his jet black mane. The top of his shoulder had to be at least five feet tall, much larger than the average male lion. The green of his eyes made him look possessed by something other than a successful hunt.
“Maybe if we get far enough away from him we can run to the village,” Sean said in a whisper.
The lion took a step towards them and roared. They covered their ears to block the deafening sound. Sean tripped on a rock, and fell bringing Renna with him. The lion shifted to a hunting position with his shoulders down and his haunches raised.
Sean frantically grabbed a large rock and threw it at the lion.
“Run, Renna! Get outta here!”
Renna turned and sprinted towards the village, screaming. She glanced back at Sean. He had gotten up and was throwing another rock at the beast. The lion swiped at him, knocking him to the ground.
“No!” Renna shrieked and halted.
The crazed lion shifted his attention and began to run in her direction.
2 comments:
Oh, wow. I love lions. They're fascinating. Love the tension in this and I already like your MC's for wanting to return the cub. Nicely done.
Great scene, lots of intense action! Just ooone teensy point - male lions don't do the hunting in prides, it's usually the females <.< But I love the visuals here! :)
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